Self Image & Self Acceptance

How I’m learning to accept myself on both my best and my worst days.

Inside the head of a boudoir photographer

Sitka Alaska | Lake Tahoe Boudoir

You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection”
– Buddha

One of the most important things that I’ve come to understand and appreciate through my journey as a boudoir photographer is the many different appearances that every woman has. One of the greatest driving factors in my career is helping women to see that they are so much more than their “bad” days.


Both of these images 100% represent me, just on different days. My daughter took the image on the left and at first I was absolutely horrified. “Is that how she and others see me?” The answer is yes, and no. She doesn’t view the image in the same way that I do, she sees the mom that she loves talking to a friend. This is just a moment of my life, (that happens to be captured from an unflattering angle) not the sum of who I am OR how I look. I quick hour of hair and makeup and I can quickly transform into the woman on the right, and you can too.

I’ve told my clients for years that we all have sweatpants and twinkies days. It’s healthy to just let yourself be sometimes, we don’t always have to feel like our best selves. But, it’s also important to remember that your inner goddess is still there and that you can transform into her any time you want. That’s why I have the image on the right on my wall, very large. Because I cant look over when I’m having one of “those days” and know that, maybe tomorrow I’ll decide to have a goddess day.


I also want to talk about how “ideal” will never be “perfect” In the image below on the left I was my ideal weight, size, hair, everything; yet all I could see was a rounded tummy with stretchmarks and arms that I perceived as fat. If you had asked me to do a photoshoot back then I would’ve said “let me hit the gym for a couple months” I couldn’t see past my own mental block. On the right I was 20lbs heavier and in my head looked horrible. Man I’d sure love to be the “fat” I used to be lol. Now, I do the photoshoots, I know my body has changed, and will continue to change, but that doesn’t stop me from looking amazing.