Humboldt County Boudoir Photography
Body Positivity and Boudoir Photography in Humboldt County
Testimony by Roni Dever
This is going to be a long one. Because in this post, we're going to talk about two little words that have a lot of struggle surrounding them:
I don’t remember exactly when I became critical, doubtful, ashamed, and unproud of my body. But it was certainly at an age where I shouldn’t have been comparing mine to “hers."
I think, like most women, I’ve struggled throughout the years in varying intensity over what I saw in the mirror. Especially after having kids.
It just... never was the same. Was I still enough to hold my husbands attention?
Did my body hold up to the demands of pregnancy and childbirth as well as others? Was this really the new version of me... the old one gone forever?
About a year and a half or so ago, my friend Samantha tagged me in a post on Bare Skin Boudoir. It was a post that belonged to a photographer that was, ironically, moving FROM the town I was moving TO...to the town I was leaving.
What’re the chances?! The post was describing the work that the photographer did, which was/is mainly Boudoir style shoots. Indoors. Outdoors. Themed. All flavors for all types.
My initial reaction was, “what is Samantha thinking, tagging me in this? I don’t have the body for that..." But, I was curious and decided to follow the photographer's page and join her group.
I’m not sure what I expected, but I enjoyed what I got from the group. Open, powerful, positive, funny, smart, insightful, creative women. Sharing thoughts. Images. Ideas. Supporting each other.
The photographer made it very clear that her group was not a place for ridicule, shame, judgement or belittling. It was a place to empower.
A while later, the photographer announced that she was going to be in Humboldt County. I can honestly tell you that after my interaction with her online, and the environment she created for women in her Boudoir group, I’d gone from “I could never do that” to a mindset of, “I’m going to make this happen for myself."
In early June, I met Carrie Driver for the first time. I didn’t have a stitch of makeup on. I was running late (no surprise to those of you who know me!), I had an entire gym bag filled with lingerie, and I was a mix of excitement and flat terror.
"What if she was disappointed in what she saw?"
"What if my body was one she couldn’t work with?"
"What if she was worried I’d visually give her name a bad image?"
"What if I couldn’t do poses right and kept messing up?"
I was terrified.
Despite my fear, I turned the reigns over completely to Carrie. Makeup. Lingerie outfits. All locations. Everything. I just let the worry go. ️
I spent about 8 hours with Carrie that day. Changing outfits. Driving to new locations. Being posed. Laughing together. Learning about Humboldt county’s history, foliage, secrets, and traditions.
Not once did I feel ugly.
Not once did I feel not good enough.
Not once did I feel uncomfortable.
Not once did I feel judged.
Not once did I regret my decision to have done it.
My body has been through some THINGS. It’s birthed a daughter. It’s birthed twins. It’s been through 35 years of experiences.
I have stretch marks.
I have loose skin.
I have dimpling.
I have gray hairs.
I have a mama belly.
Turns out, I was also pregnant in these and just didn’t know it yet.
So now, my body gets to have another experience...
My day with Carrie was one of the best days I’ve had when it comes to letting myself feel good about what I see in the mirror.
These are some of the images from that day.
I’m not ashamed of them.
I’m not ashamed of what I look like in them.
They aren’t airbrushed. But neither am I.
They aren’t perfect. But neither am I.
What they are, and who Carrie is to me, is a little reminder that says just because we aren’t supermodels, just because we’re visually different than the women around us, just because we’ve got some things we don’t care for in our reflection, doesn’t mean we’re less worthy of self respect or self love.
I’m so glad I was able to experience this, and grateful Carrie made her appearance in my life when she did.